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Wlaf1450By Michael Yates
OAK RIDGE, TN. (WLAF) – As Valentine’s Day approaches, we naturally turn our attention to matters of the heart and the language of romantic love. And after more than thirty years of marriage to my wife, Ruth, I’d be a fool not to honor romance. Still, this time of year also draws my thoughts to another kind of love—parental love—and the powerful language of claiming that comes with it.
Decades ago, when our children were small, Ruth and I ended every day the same way, with a simple, sing-song ritual at bedtime.
“I love you,” I’d say. “I love you too,” my son Max would reply.
“I’m proud of you,” I’d say. “I’m proud of you too,” he’d answer.
“And you know what?” I’d ask. “What?”
“I’m proud to be your dad,” I’d say. “And I’m proud to be your son,” he’d respond.
Nothing fancy. No long speeches or dramatic moments—just a small ritual that closed each day letting each other know we were proud to belong to each other.
I’m sure there were nights when our minds were elsewhere: work deadlines, excitement about a school field trip, financial worries, or the quiet fears that surface once the lights go out. And yet, we ended every night the same way—bathed in the language of claiming the ones we love.
Research in human development reminds us that a child’s sense of belonging is shaped, in part, by this kind of consistent claiming language and behavior. Language that conveys warmth, comfort, capability, and value. Behavior that is reliable, predictable, and secure—offered again and again, over time. That sense of belonging is not just emotionally comforting; it is foundational to mental health. Research consistently shows that belonging to a family or a place such as school or vocation is associated with lower levels of anxiety and depression, greater resilience in the face of stress, and a stronger capacity to form healthy relationships across the lifespan.
When I reflect on belonging to the Yates family and the branches of that family tree, I smile at the many ways my parents claimed me—repeatedly, without hesitation, from the very beginning. From their repeated acts of claiming love, a sense of belonging to them emerged.
Yet there are children across our state, our country, and our world who have not experienced the benefit of that kind of positive attachment and acceptance. They grow up uncertain about where—or to whom—they belong. In the absence of belonging, doubt, fear, isolation, and uncertainty can quietly take root.
So this Valentine’s Day, while we acknowledge Cupid’s romantic handiwork all around us, let’s also pause to honor the language of claiming love and the deep sense of belonging it creates. Reflect on where you belong and what that belonging has conveyed to you—a positive sense of self, the reassurance that you are not alone, a regard for others, and a belief in your own worth and capability.
And let us also turn our attention outward. Notice those who are still searching for belonging by helping connect them to places where a claiming culture exists. With a “no wrong door” approach and a compassionate workforce, Ridgeview’s culture of acceptance is just such a place—one ready to support each person’s journey toward hope, healing, and recovery.
Because love, in its broadest and most enduring form, begins with being claimed.
Michael Yates is the Director of Development at Ridgeview Behavioral Health Services.
Ridgeview is a private, not for profit community mental health center serving Anderson, Campbell, Fentress, Morgan, Roane, Scott, and Union counties. (WLAF NEWS PUBLISHED 2/10/2026-6AM-PAID)